The Ayuwoki began as a YouTube video created in 2009 by fiction writer Thomas Rengstorff, to promote an animatronic robot with a mask resembling a distorted likeness of the late Michael Jackson. The story's climax comes when the man finds a room marked "CHARACTER PREP 1" which is inhabited by a photo-negative Mickey Mouse mascot that seems to be alive and flees when he witnesses it rip off its own head. Abandoned by Disney Ībandoned by Disney is a creepypasta written by Slimebeast about a man exploring an abandoned Disney resort, named Mowgli's Palace. The blog ends on a cliffhanger after Camden mentions the email address. In one of the last updates, Camden says he was contacted by an email address that supposedly belongs to Mr. Bear tapes, including an episode where Mr. Bear when he was younger, and during the investigation, he finds a police station with several Mr. It tells the story of a Canadian man named Elliot, who is investigating a mysterious public access channel called Caledon Local 21. 1999 ġ999 is a creepypasta that started as a blog by Camden Lamont which was updated in real-time. You can help by adding missing items with reliable sources. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.This is a dynamic list and may never be able to satisfy particular standards for completeness. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy. If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers). This subreddit is a writing workshop community - a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. And keep writing you clearly have talent and an eye for good ideas :). ![]() I hope this helped! Feel free to follow up if you need any examples or clarification. Last thing I think the "bowed their head" images might be better shifted to flowers since the garden is the subject of the poem and this also portrays what a wilted/ dying plant looks like. This creates a stilted rhythm, by breaking in the middle of phrases you can keep some tension forcing the reader to the next line. Overall, I think that you should move around your line breaks so they don't all end at the end of phrases. ![]() Instead, it may hit harder as "There was something beautiful about knowing / nothing at all". ![]() ![]() The poem is already talking about this beauty in the past tense. I also think that the line "There was something beautiful about knowing nothing at all / when I was knowing nothing with you" is a bit redundant. It demonstrates how this loss has completely shifted the word for the speaker. I think there are a few places where your images can become more concrete and just slight tweaking on wording to make it that much more powerful.įirstly, I think your first line would be more emotional if it used metaphor instead of simile, consider changing it to "This garden is a graveyard in your absence". You also provide us with some super solid images like "a place where flowers won't thrive" and "soil clings to me bones weeping". I think this is a really promising poem! I really love the themes of loss and the title you're working with is especially evocative.
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